Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
