we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
