someone owes me an orgasm
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
