everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
