I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
