i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
