The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
