im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
