Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
