I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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