its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
