what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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