If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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