so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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