Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
