Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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