i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
