He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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