why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
