How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
