butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
