Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
