try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
