I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
