I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Someone shit on the floor
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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