if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need water and some morals
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
