my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
