Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
