Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
