I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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