We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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