no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
