Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
