I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
