so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
