do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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