I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just pee around me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
