I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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