That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was CRYING into my vagina
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't turn off my feet"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
