I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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