I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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