i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
