ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
