I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My breasts were aching with rage.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
