Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
