dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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