question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
