I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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