I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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