just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
