haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
