if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
