I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
