I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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